At age 23, my life took a significant turn for what seemed to be the worst. I was at work, standing at the top of a set of stairs ready to get the next patient. My boss called me to come downstairs, but I didn't know how to walk.
I’ve walked down the valley of the shadow of death, multiple times.
From sexual abuse as a child, to bulimia, to obsessive compulsive behaviours and drug abuse, it’s safe to say that for the first twenty years here on earth, life was shit! I hated myself, my existence and being alive — to me it was all one cruel joke!
But the final slap in my face was from the ages of 18 to 25 years, when chronic nerve pain spread throughout my body. I managed in the beginning thinking it would pass but became addicted to prescribed pain medication. By age 23 years, I was overweight, depressed, suicidal and enraged at life!
After attempting to walk down a set of stairs and having no idea how to walk, I knew I was in trouble. I soon found out I had a congenital brain malformation which if left untreated, would eventually lead to me being paraplegic. Brain surgery was the answer.
The pain didn't go away after surgery and at this point I felt that being alive was the greatest curse of all time. I felt that I must have done something very wrong to deserve all this and had become a person who had nothing left to give to myself or the people around me.
That's when I contemplated suicide.
"After years of internal torture and finally finding the light within my soul, it was time for me to get out and share the miracles that take place when you reach inside yourself and give life to who you are."
But deep down I knew my time wasn't up. Something in me said it ain't over yet and urged me to fight for my life - for my happiness, freedom and inner peace. After seeking advice from a Professor of Neurology who helped me see that although I was dealt a shitty card, I had what it took to overcome chronic pain.
I walked out of there and immediately chose to shift my focus. I chose to live a healthy, happy and free life. I convinced myself I had the power within me to change things for the better. I chose to get off all medication and set a goal to manage the pain myself. It took 10 months and a complete mental overhaul, a radical change in actions and day-to-day behaviour to find my happy place, which led me to being pain free, drug free and finally at peace!
The incredible change I felt personally and saw in others around me was magnificent. It set me on the path of deep healing, personal transformation, discovering who I am (and who I'm not), love, acceptance, confidence and full blown self expression.
That moment to make the shift left me with the overwhelming knowing that there is a power within us all to change our lives, no matter how grim it seems. I believed I was destined for a life of suffering and being at the mercy of my beliefs and thoughts, but it was all a lie.
My shit life was the catalyst to wake up the power within, leading to a burning desire to help you unleash your power, as I have no doubt in my heart that you have the ability to find your peace, happiness and freedom, as I have within me.